Calculating Sins

If I average each per day—

no, there are too many variables 
to estimate a weighted mean.

I can divide my sins into modes,
multiply A by days, B by knowns,
but again, what proofs do I have?

My sins must be greater than
even polynomial functions project.
I graph transgressions along a curve—
down, down the asymptote of my decay

and with that graph, I’ll integrate it’s discs
and solve for the volume of my violations.
Infinite, though lacking the distinctions
that my fractalline mistakes contain;
their self-similarity create new dimensions of pain.

They all seem irrational, but simplifying
sins just ignores their complications,
and there is no absolute comparison theorem.
Perhaps instead of irrational, imaginary.
Sins times my negative potential to my power of half.
No! All that remains is an unworkable concept of “how?”

Even in God’s own language, I fail.
He takes my works—the scribbles, my mess—
into his calming parenthesis.
Jesus takes his zero, and God nails
it to my quantities—him to the cross,
filling the hole in my now-spherical soul 
with that value of zero.

 

 

 

Thank you for reading! This poem was published by the Opus Magazine! They can be found here: https://opus.hope.edu, though I do not know if the poem will be made available through the website.